Templates
How to decline politely: message templates
A good no is short, kind and clear. Thank them, say no in the first two lines and stop. Long reasons sound like excuses and invite a counter offer. If you want to keep the relationship warm, offer something real instead of a vague maybe.
Turn down an invitation warmly
Warm no
Thank you so much for asking, [name]. I can't make it this time but I hope it's a brilliant evening.
No with another date
I can't do [day] but I'd love to catch up. Are you free [other day]?
Wedding or big event
Thank you for the invitation, [name]. Sadly we can't be there on [date] and we're gutted to miss it. We'll be raising a glass to you both from afar.
Not this kind of thing
Thanks for thinking of me! [Activity] isn't really my thing so I'll sit this one out. Shout me for the next drinks though.
Say no to a favour without guilt
Clear no
I'm going to have to say no to this one, [name]. I hope you find someone who can help.
No but a smaller yes
I can't [the favour] but I could [smaller thing] if that helps?
No to lending money
I'm sorry you're in a tight spot. I don't lend money to friends because I'd hate it to get between us. Is there anything else I can do?
Decline a date kindly
Before a first date
Thanks for asking, it's sweet of you. I don't feel that spark so I'll say no. I've enjoyed chatting though.
After a date
I had a nice time on [day], thank you. I don't think we're a match though and I wanted to tell you rather than drift off. Wishing you well.
A friend asks you out
I'm really glad you told me and I value you a lot. I don't feel that way though and I'd like us to stay friends if you're up for that.
Turn down a job offer professionally
Accepted another offer
Dear [name], thank you for offering me the [role]. I've accepted another position so I must decline. I enjoyed meeting the team and hope our paths cross again.
Offer not right
Hi [name], thank you for the offer and for your time through the process. After a lot of thought I've decided it isn't the right move for me at this point. I'm grateful for the chance.
Decline an interview
Hi [name], thank you for inviting me to interview for [role]. My circumstances have changed and I'd like to withdraw. I appreciate your time.
Pass on a collaboration
Not a fit
Thanks for thinking of me, [name]. It's not the right fit for what I'm doing at the moment so I'll pass. Good luck with it.
No time right now
Hi [name], I love the idea but I can't give it the time it deserves before [month]. If it's still open then, I'd be glad to talk.
Unpaid request
Thanks for asking, [name]. I'm not taking on unpaid work at the moment. If there's budget for it later, my rate is [rate] and I'd be happy to talk.
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Questions
Do I need to give a reason when I say no?
No. A short, kind no is complete on its own. A reason often invites a negotiation.
How do I say no without sounding rude?
Thank them first, say no plainly and end on something warm that is true. What sounds rude is usually a slow reply or a vague maybe that they have to chase.
What if they push back after I say no?
Repeat the no once in fewer words and don't add new reasons. Breezily can read their reply and suggest a firm answer that still keeps it friendly.
Related
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